It was a dull wet gloomy day in November and Ali was sitting on the cream leather sofa in the livingroom with her feet up on the stool looking out the window wishing it was sunny. In came grandad through from the kitchen. "Who wants cookies? ," said grandad talking to Ali. "I do I do," Ali shouted.Grandad had made chocolate chip cookies and lovely nice warm hot milk."Just for a horrible day," said grandad and thats what it was to be."Ali," said grandad , "are you ok!"

" nut," mumbled Ali

" what " said grandad "I think you mean NO Ali !"

" ohh shut up your always moning at me be good be kind what next dont be myself !! " yelled Ali very rudly.

" I think you should go to your room Ali " exclamed grandad firmly.So off Ali went up stairs.

Grandad is a nice man and always looked out for people and has looked after Ali ever since she was born well 2 years old grandad looked after her because of a terrible terrible accident with Alis mum and dad.Alis mum was grandads daughter.Well one dark foggy night in december Ali her mum and dad where in the house when they started to smell smoke Alis dad went to go see he saw the kitchen was on fire he ran upstairs to get Ali by this time the whole house was nearly up in flames.They ran down stairs Ali getting carried.Dad gave Ali to a next door neighbour to hold her while he went in to save mum but dad or mum never came back out and that was the last time they where ever saw.Well anyway grandad normally wears a shirt and wellies and trousers, he is pretty plain but has a warm forgiving heart.Ali is 12, she has brown shiny hair and pink lips.She has blue eyes like the sea. Ali wears all the cool stylish clothes.She wouldnt go out without looking good or fairly nice.Ali can be nice when she wants but rude other times.

if you want to read more ask my teacher to give you the written version

might be continued...................

Chapter 2 the magic box

"Whos there what is it show your self !" said Ali still blinded from the light.

"Ha ha," gave a laugh behind the light.The light started to dim more and more.Ali didnt know wheither to open her eyes or to keep them closed.Her heart beating so fast it sounded like a drum.Suddenly the light was gone and all she saw was the box opened and inside was well nothing there was not a thing.Was Ali dreaming Ali put the box under her bed and got up back into her bed.She snuggled back up into her bed and turned over "Hello Ali! " said a strang man.

SELF - EVALUATION

I enjoyed my story because I loved what I have done I thought I did really well.I think in particular opening my box was a strong bit all the tention the light the voice yes I LOVED THAT BIT.These words are how I would describe my story - exciting , thrilling , mysterious , scary , well written , gripping , fast moving but I wish I could have written more on the computer for you viewers.I think all these words describe my story because doing my story I wanted to write more myself because I was so gripped on I wanted to do more. In my written version there is more like opening the box going in the attic and lots more.The bit I liked best was at the start of the story the opening line like in the living room and getting a row and getting to know about Alis parents.I am pleased with what I have done all the description and the way I have set it out yes I am pleased.I would say it was ok to follow not hard but not easy.

Thank you please leave a message and tell me what you think!!!